Post-Reality Factor thoughts: Parte Uno

most bangin' t-shirt ever, imho.

So I just got back from the most awesome retreat ever, and by awesome I mean AWESOME. It gave me a chance to think and reflect on my own life: the outward struggles I've been going through, the sins that have been consuming me from the inside, etc. etc. I've realized a lot about myself, including how much I want to be a better friend, sister, daughter, student, etc., as well a better example of the kind of person who has been redeemed and given new life and whose purpose is to glorify God in everything she does. So without further ado, here begins my mini series of post-reality factor thoughts in which I tackle some of the things that were brought to light for me this weekend... starting with my jealousy problem.

While I experienced countless good feelings this weekend, I also experienced a lot of bad feelings too, one of those being jealousy. The worst part about this issue is that I tend to feel it most strongly when I'm around the people that I care most about. Why do I choose these people to be my friends in the first place? Well, because they're awesome, duh! They have so many great qualities that are impossible to name all at once, and that's where my jealousy plays into.

This weekend, a close friend of mine helped me realize that if I'm jealous of people all the time, I don't have any time to love them. Wanna know something? I'm sick of being jealous. I really, truly am. I mean forreal, where does jealousy get you in life?

Being jealous of someone that's skinnier than you won't make you weigh any less.
Being jealous of someone that's close to a person that you wish you could be friends with won't make you any closer to either of those people.
Being jealous of someone's talents won't magically make you have those talents.
Being jealous of someone's personality won't suddenly make you funnier, more charming, nicer, more easy-going, etc.
Being jealous of someone's car, cell phone, iPod, computer, etc. won't give you any of those things.

Wanna know what being jealous WILL do? I should know, I'm pretty much a pro at it.

Being jealous will make you feel bitter.
Being jealous will make you feel angry.
Being jealous will make you feel depressed.
Being jealous will make you feel worthless.
Being jealous will make you feel guilty.

If you're unhappy with your life and you want change, then make change happen. No one's stopping you.

If you don't like your body, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Go outside and run or cut back on your daily chocolate intake by a few pounds or so.
If you want to be friends with somebody, make the first move. Don't hold back. Be bold. Be yourself. If they don't like you, then it's their loss. At least you know you have another friend you can count on.
If you wish you had a certain talent, chances are you haven't done anything to develop that talent. Want to draw better? Take art classes. Want to sing better? Take voice lessons. Want to be a better basketball player? Go outside and PRACTICE! Practice won't guarantee perfection, but it always guarantees results.
If you don't like your personality, then change it. You don't have to be someone that you don't like. As quoted by George Bernard Show, "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself." Maybe you weren't born the wittiest person in the world, but everyone was born with a sense of humor. Find someone who appreciates that humor. If you have a short temper and feel guilty for constantly blowing up at your friends, then that's your problem, not theirs. Learn how to control your anger, or at the very least, apologize when it gets out of control.
If there's something you want, most likely it's not out of your reach, so either a) get a job, b) be patient and wait a few months until your next birthday/Christmas if it's near, or c) be content with what you do have and mooch off your friend whenever you can. It's that simple.

Stop being jealous. Jealousy is stupid and it doesn't get you anywhere in life. Trust me, I know. From now on, whenever I feel jealous I'm going to immediately bow my head and pray for God to show me why I should be content with who I am and with the blessings that He's given me, because if I look hard enough for them, I know I can find plenty of reasons to smile.

-Kati Davis ♥

love.