Untitled.

 Why can't I let go of you?

 You're like a balloon filled with

 lead.

 Your string is  t w i s t e d  around my fingers

 Choking me, dragging me

     d    

        o   

         w  

   n 

  . 

  . 

  . 

 And yet for some reason,

 I just can't seem to let you go.

 Please stop hurting me

 I'm not sure how much I can take.
 My heart is splintering at the seams

 My lungs, they're ready to burst

 Every breath slips  b e t w e e n  the  cracks  of my t e e t h ... 

 ...But I don't want to be free.

   Please, please   

 Whatever you do... 
   Don't let me go.  

 -Kati Davis.

Post-Reality Factor thoughts: Parte Uno

most bangin' t-shirt ever, imho.

So I just got back from the most awesome retreat ever, and by awesome I mean AWESOME. It gave me a chance to think and reflect on my own life: the outward struggles I've been going through, the sins that have been consuming me from the inside, etc. etc. I've realized a lot about myself, including how much I want to be a better friend, sister, daughter, student, etc., as well a better example of the kind of person who has been redeemed and given new life and whose purpose is to glorify God in everything she does. So without further ado, here begins my mini series of post-reality factor thoughts in which I tackle some of the things that were brought to light for me this weekend... starting with my jealousy problem.

While I experienced countless good feelings this weekend, I also experienced a lot of bad feelings too, one of those being jealousy. The worst part about this issue is that I tend to feel it most strongly when I'm around the people that I care most about. Why do I choose these people to be my friends in the first place? Well, because they're awesome, duh! They have so many great qualities that are impossible to name all at once, and that's where my jealousy plays into.

This weekend, a close friend of mine helped me realize that if I'm jealous of people all the time, I don't have any time to love them. Wanna know something? I'm sick of being jealous. I really, truly am. I mean forreal, where does jealousy get you in life?

Being jealous of someone that's skinnier than you won't make you weigh any less.
Being jealous of someone that's close to a person that you wish you could be friends with won't make you any closer to either of those people.
Being jealous of someone's talents won't magically make you have those talents.
Being jealous of someone's personality won't suddenly make you funnier, more charming, nicer, more easy-going, etc.
Being jealous of someone's car, cell phone, iPod, computer, etc. won't give you any of those things.

Wanna know what being jealous WILL do? I should know, I'm pretty much a pro at it.

Being jealous will make you feel bitter.
Being jealous will make you feel angry.
Being jealous will make you feel depressed.
Being jealous will make you feel worthless.
Being jealous will make you feel guilty.

If you're unhappy with your life and you want change, then make change happen. No one's stopping you.

If you don't like your body, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Go outside and run or cut back on your daily chocolate intake by a few pounds or so.
If you want to be friends with somebody, make the first move. Don't hold back. Be bold. Be yourself. If they don't like you, then it's their loss. At least you know you have another friend you can count on.
If you wish you had a certain talent, chances are you haven't done anything to develop that talent. Want to draw better? Take art classes. Want to sing better? Take voice lessons. Want to be a better basketball player? Go outside and PRACTICE! Practice won't guarantee perfection, but it always guarantees results.
If you don't like your personality, then change it. You don't have to be someone that you don't like. As quoted by George Bernard Show, "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself." Maybe you weren't born the wittiest person in the world, but everyone was born with a sense of humor. Find someone who appreciates that humor. If you have a short temper and feel guilty for constantly blowing up at your friends, then that's your problem, not theirs. Learn how to control your anger, or at the very least, apologize when it gets out of control.
If there's something you want, most likely it's not out of your reach, so either a) get a job, b) be patient and wait a few months until your next birthday/Christmas if it's near, or c) be content with what you do have and mooch off your friend whenever you can. It's that simple.

Stop being jealous. Jealousy is stupid and it doesn't get you anywhere in life. Trust me, I know. From now on, whenever I feel jealous I'm going to immediately bow my head and pray for God to show me why I should be content with who I am and with the blessings that He's given me, because if I look hard enough for them, I know I can find plenty of reasons to smile.

-Kati Davis ♥

love.

Freedom.

Sometimes, I wish...

...I could climb to the tippiest top of the tallest tree and pluck its leaves and ponder.

...I could run fast and far until my lungs dissolve and my legs melt into the gravel.

...I could open my mouth and sing until my heart bursts and sends a symphony shivering down my spine.

...I could scream until my voice becomes like nails against a chalkboard and bang my head until my vision is nothing but stars and licorice.

...I could take a million color-drenched paintbrushes and splatter a canvas with burning passion until the fire within me subsides.

...I could curl into a black-and-white ball and cry a thousand silver tears until I drown in my own emotion.

...I could sprout an enormous pair of butterfly wings, soar to the nearest cloud, and take a nap in a pool of sky blue.

...I could skip through a valley of dandelions, throw my head back, and laugh at the snow-capped mountains.

...I could cover my face with my hands and breathe between the cracks in my fingers until my head fills with helium and I'm up to my waist in pure atmosphere.

Sometimes, I wish I could live with no limits, only desire; and dream with no destination, only lust.

-Kati Davis

Essay thang I did for AP English because I'm too lazy to type something new...

...yurrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

~

Blenglish: A Second Look at Mrs. Keating: The Fountainhead . I think it's safe to say that the majority of Mrs. Burnett's first period Advanced Placement English class enjoyed this b...

Facebook hiatus/strike/fast/whatever you wanna call it.

Operation:

 F.reedom F.rom F.acebook

Wait... what?
Yup, it's true. Kati Davis, self-proclaimed Facebook creep/addict extraordinaire, has finally decided to call it quits. And by quits, I mean reduce the amount of time I spend on Facebook to a half hour a day, if that. Which is actually the norm for some people but, sadly, not this girl. It's more like four times that amount, and probably double that amount on weekends. So, in order to reach this goal, I'm going to completely cut myself off from the famous social networking site for an extended period of time.

Seriously?! Why?!? :(
Hang on, lemme pull out my handy dandy list for ya.
-Because there are a lot of other more important things (i.e. school, work, God, college applications) that I need to buckle down and focus on.
-Because it's a constant distraction.
-Because I'm pretty sure my eyes are going to start bleeding and eventually fall out of my head if I don't take a break soon.
-Because it's become a false source of my personal value and happiness.
-Because it's also become more and more a source of misunderstanding, hurt, jealousy, drama, etc. between myself and my friends, and I really don't want/need to deal with that kind of stuff.
-Because recently my life has become eat, sleep, breathe, Facebook, and I want to break the cycle.
-Because, darn it, SOMEONE needs to do it.
-Because, and I know I'm looking a little far into the future, but I really don't want to become one of "those adults". You know what I'm talking about. :P
-Because I've become a slave to my own obssessive compulsive tendency to log into it every time a computer is within arm's length. No joke.
-Because I'm honestly getting sick of it.

B-b-but, Facebook is our only means of communication! D:
Well, if that's the truth, then we probably shouldn't have become friends in the first place. But no worries! If you're genuinely my friend, then you'll find a way to reach me via email, telephone, AIM (I know, who uses that dinosaur nowadays?!), handwritten letter (speaking of dinosaurs, who does this anymore?), texting, or old-fashioned face-to-face conversation. Who knew there were so many different ways of communicating with people nowadays? :O

Sooo... how long is this thing going to last? :/
Dunno. I'm aiming for at least a week of absolutely no Facebooking whatsoever except what is absolutely necessary for educational purposes (i.e. asking Brittany Coleman what the requirements for our AP English assignments are the day before they're due :P ), and checking my messages every once in a while just in case someone that lives in a cave with internet as his/her only means of communication desperately needs to reach me. I'm hoping that by the end of this period of time I will have my priorities in better order than they were before and return much more confident then I was when I left... but we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

So now, I guess the only thing left to say now is...

Operation F.F.F., leggggggoooooooooo! :D

I'm running out of creative juices.

Sooooo to fill up space, I'm gonna do one of those silly about me posts that everyone just loves oh so much (: I promise this will be the only one I'll ever post on here. (That's probably a lie, but oh well.)

• I'm 50% Hungarian. What now, biscottis. :D
• I share a birthday with my Siamese cat.
• I used to hate having long hair, but it's beginning to grow on me. (badhairpunsftw ♥)
• Owl City is the bombbbbb.
• My biggest personal pet peeve is when I lose/forget things... and I do it all the time.
• I don't curse. I don't judge people who do, but I honestly find it annoying, especially when it's overused.
• I get an average of six hours of sleep a night, but I plan to increase that by at least two hours before the end of this year because my soul is slowly dying from lack of sleep.
• I can run a mile in six minutes and fifty-nine seconds. Woo.
• I'm probably one of the only seventeen-year-old girls I know that owns neither a bikini nor a cell phone.
• I've been to Trinidad and Canada.
• I enjoy public speaking even though I get oober nervous beforehand. Like, random spazzing/teeth chattering nervous. It's pretty bad.
• I'm genuinely happy a lot less often than people seem to think I am.
• I'm surprised by lack of people that know the Soulja Boy dance (I am part of the minority that does :D).
• I'm Pro-Life, and I'll argue with you to the death about it. (Wait... does that make sense?)
• Spontaneous singing is part of the package, but I won't do it unless I'm really comfortable around you. The more comfortable I am, the louder the volume. ;)



This is probably my favorite quote ever. ♥

• If I had to choose one symbol to represent who I am, it would be a heart balloon because sometimes I just feel like letting go of reality and following wherever my heart takes me. :)
• I believe in the beauty and immeasurable value of every single person on this earth.
• Writing to me is like oxygen to everyone else. Except... I need that too.
• Jesus is my life.
• I've never seen a horror movie, but I think it would be fun to star in one.
• A lot of people think I'm shy. I guess I am at first, but once you get to know me I'm anything but. :)
• I like inventing my own words (bumpin' peepsicles, anyone?) and adding random endings like "-ski" to the end of real ones. I also enjoy occasionally indulging in gangster speak. (ex. "What's poppin', homefry?")
• I've been collecting erasers since elemtary school. I'ma guesstimate and say I have at least a hundred or so by now? Not very impressive, but it's more force of habit now than anything.
• I don't really enjoy school dances because all they really do is showcase the awkwardness I try so hard to hide. I think the only reason I go is so I can wear a dress and make my hair look pretty. :P
• I really miss the old AIM days and sometimes log in just to relive the memories.
• Yeah, I know I'm weird.

The end! Hopefully you got some sense of enjoyment out of reading this, and I promise once I'm running on a decent amount of sleep my blogs will be much more meaninful than this one was. :P Toodaloo!

-Kati ♥

Ode to my college friends!

Craziest thing ever, but I actually have friends close to my age that are in college now. What. is. this?! Weren't we all in middle school just like, yesterday? Insanity. So anyway, this is a tribute to all of those friends that have moved beyond high school life and are now onto bigger and better things. Even though some of you may never see this, I want other people to read about just how awesome y'all are. :) (And I didn't feel like posting it on Facebook. :p)

Hannah- Dearest cousin, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I guess I pretty much covered everything in the photo album I gave you... no, actually, I didn't, because it's pretty much impossible to cover everything we've been through. I'm just gonna sum it up and say that you are my best friend for life. I admire you so much for your beauty, your creativity, your gentle spirit, your awesomeness, etc. etc. and I love you and I know you're going to do amazing things for the Lord in your post-college life... and now, of course. :) Can't wait to see you during the holidays!

Dan S.- Even though it still kind of hurts that I'm number three on your list of favorite cousins, I suppose I'll get over it eventually. ;P But forreal cuz, you have a lot going for you. You're funny, you're compassionate, you're honest, you give great advice AND you're a great listener (which is extremely hard to find nowadays); you're just an all-around really awesome guy. Do your best in college and whatever else you do and I know you'll go super far in life. :)

Rachel- OPPI EMOS FOR LIFE! Need I say more? (; Yes, actually, I do. Rachel, you're such a great friend. You're one of the most caring people I know, and you know how to have fun, but you also know when to crack down (is that a real expression?) and get serious. You're a hard worker, probably one of the smartest people I know, and just a very kind and funny person in general. Te quiero Rachael! ♥ 

Adam- Spankyyyyyyyy! I've actually never called you that so I'm not really sure why I feel the need to do it now... but anyway. Adam, you crack me up. You always have something on your mind, whether it's ultra-deep or just an awkward story that you somehow manage to make hilarious while telling it. :P I really admire your passion for Christ and your desire to follow His plan for your life. I miss how close we used to be, but I'll never forget some of the conversations we had and what I learned from them. You're gonna do big things, kid. :) FOOT FIVE! ;D 
P.S. My sister loves you. :P

Dan H.- Hmm... what to say? Well, I'm really glad that our first awkward meeting in Dairy Queen that you don't remember (or are just pretending not to for my sake ;p) didn't deter us from becoming friends, because you're a really awesome person. I guess I pretty much covered everything in the letter I gave you a while ago, but I truly appreciate our friendship. You're a sweet, occasionally oblivious ;p , down-to-earth guy with a love for Christ that shines through pretty much everything you do. I hope that college is everything you dreamed it would be and I know whatever you choose to do in life, you'll put your whole heart into it and you'll do it for God's glory. :) 

Kat- Hello dear! Even though we've grown apart since our junior high/Reality Factor/Victory Jam days, I still consider you a good friend. You're so funny, down-to-earth, and just really easy to talk to. Even though you've probably heard this a bajillion times by now, I just have to say that your singing voice is seriously amazing. You're sooo talented and even though you're not really sure what you want to do with your life, I know you have a very bright future ahead of you. :)

Abigail- Even though we were never really close friends, there's a lot about you that I admire. Your confidence, your calmness, and your honesty are all really awesome qualities. You know what you want and what you believe but you're also not afraid to question yourself as well as others. You asked hard questions and you gave really thought-provoking answers during youth group discussions, and you challenged us all to think outside of our little Presbyterian box, which I really appreciate. This goes without say, but you're definitely going to go far in life. :)

Margaret- MARGARET! I'm gonna miss you in Pioneer Girls so much! You and your bubbly personality literally light up whatever room you're in. You're so much fun and you're so sweet and I love talking with you about the passion we share for writing. I sincerely hope you get your book published and you get to live in England like you've always dreamed of doing. :) 

I love/miss you all! (In a strictly biblical sense of course. :) )


-Kati ♥


Philippians 4:6-8

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 ⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Be strong and love yourself.

I just saw something that made me sick to my stomach.


A while ago I was creeping on an old friend's tumblr and came across a picture I really liked. The top part showed the waist of a girl who was apparently very thin. The bottom part showed the waist of a girl who was not overweight, but probably about standard size in today's society. The caption for the first picture was "Be strong and get skinny", with the word "skinny" crossed out like it is here. The caption for the second picture was "Be strong and love yourself".


Unfortunately that friend deleted her tumblr account, so I was forced to resort to trying to find the picture via Google Images. While I wasn't able to find the exact picture I was looking for, I did find lots of other encouraging pictures with the same inspirational message...


...and some not-so-encouraging ones too.


Following one of the pictures I came across, I was led to a blog owned by a girl who was apparently unhappy with her body and trying to lose weight. The only description she gave of herself was "I want to be perfect". The blog was covered with pictures of girls who were obviously underweight, some of them abnormally so, and it had quotes such as "Hunger hurts, but starving works" and "Stay strong, think thin". Her blog glorified exercising to the point of extreme pain and other unhealthy habits such as cutting. Basically really disturbing stuff.


What was even more disturbing was some of the comments left on this blog, obviously from other teenage girls who were apparently really encouraged by this girl's posts, and the fact that she had almost three hundred members subscribed to it. Meaning that at least three hundred other people were being fed these lies about beauty, happiness, and perfection. Horrifyingly fascinated by this discovery, I began to do some research and stumbled across hundreds of other blogs like this girl's, girls who were obsessed with the concept of self-control and expressed shame, disgust and anger whenever they lost control and gave in to their natural human instinct to eat. They all seemed to believe that the more weight they lost, they happier they would become.


What's wrong with the world today?


Why is it that these beautiful girls think that because they're not thin, they must be ugly and worthless? The funny thing is, not one of the girls in the pictures on the first "pro-ana (anorexia)" blog I found looks genuinely happy. Most of them actually look quite the opposite. They're curled up, most of them half-clothed, with spines that jut out from their skin like dinosaur scales and bones that are visible where they shouldn't be; their heads buried in their arms or hiding underneath their hair, facing away from the camera. And these are the kind of girls that the owner of the blog considers happy.


Here's one of them.

Tell me, does this girl look happy to you?

You wanna know why these girls think the way they do?


Because society tells them to think that way. Because society tells them that thin is beautiful, that happiness is determined by what the scale tells you. And you know what?


Society lies.


YOU are beautiful exactly the way YOU are. Don't believe me? Want to how why I know this?


Well, I'm going to tell you.


Because there is not one single person on this earth like you. You were created, you were designed, you were stitched together by someone who loves you. To him, it doesn't matter what the scale says. To him, it doesn't matter how many calories you intake per day. To him, it doesn't matter how many pounds you gain or lose. To him, it doesn't matter that you have stretch marks or cellulite or "old lady arms". When he looks at you, he sees your heart. He sees your soul. He sees the things that matter, the things that make you who you are. In the eyes of society, your outside may not match up to the false standard of beauty that it advertises.


And you know what? It's okay. It's okay to be seventeen years old and weight over a hundred forty pounds. It's okay to have friends that are skinnier than you. It's okay to indulge in chocolate once every blue moon (or every day if you're like me). It's okay to have a stretch mark here or there or thighs that jiggle a little when you walk. Because those aren't the things that count. It's your inside that counts. It's your heart that counts. It's your soul that counts. It's who you are that counts.


You're already perfect. He's made you perfect. All you have to do is be you [tiful], and everything will work out in the end. I promise.


-Kati ♥


Psalm 139:14
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."



♥ *Believe it, please do! Believe it, it's true!*♥



Stole this from my best friend (:

Love this analogy! (She wrote it, btw (: ) Hope you don't mind me sharing it!

Life is Interesting: All kinds of advil: Random thought, well not really random since I just had some…but anyway. Advil can’t fix everything. Sure it can temporarily ease the pain o...

I'm a blogger, that's what'sup.

Why "Epiphany Central"?


e-piph-a-ny [ih-pif-uh-nee] : a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience; a moment of revelation and insight. (dictionary.com baby ♥ )


1) Because it's catchy.
2) Because having ephiphanies is one of my favorite hobbies. I love those moments where suddenly things start to make sense in your mind that didn't before; those "Ohhhh, I get it now" and "Wow, I never thought of it that way" moments that are essentially milestones on the journey to adulthood (I know, I really don't want to dwell on that thought for too long). There's just something about the realization that you've been wrong about something all along that's really humbling and awesome at the same time.
3) Come on, you have to admit it's fun to say too. "Epiphany!" Tell me that doesn't just make you feel all tingly and Einstein-like inside :)


So yeah! This is basically the place where I'll be posting my latest epiphanies/revelations/inspirational thoughts/insights into this crazy world we live in. Of course, that's not the only thing I'll be writing about. I'll also be updating you on my latest and greatest adventures and whatever other random thoughts pop into my head that I feel like sharing with my fellow bloggers. Hopefully you guys will enjoy reading about them just as much as I enjoy having them... and also develop a newfound love for saying the word epiphany :) One last time...


EPIPHANY! ♥


~Kati

( ^ See this little guy? He's clearly just had an epiphany of his own (: )